Cat From the Black Lagoon
by Campyboobies
Summary: Prompt: "Imagine your OTP moving in together, and Person A quickly finds that Person B's adored kitty does not like them."


One of my favorites from my Tumblr account.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Pitch Perfect or any of the characters!

* * *

"I just don't think he likes me," Aubrey sighed. "Just look at how he's looking at me!"

A fluffy gray tabby cat paced the floor directly in front of the couch where Chloe and Aubrey were sitting, his tail swishing in annoyance. He gazed up at Aubrey with narrow green eyes as if he was judging her. Aubrey kept glancing down at his paws, hoping that his claws would stay inside where they belonged.

"Don't be silly, Bree!"

A whole month had passed since Chloe had gotten her beloved pet back from her parents. Professor Cuddles had stayed with them while Chloe was at college, but now that she graduated and no longer had to live in the dorms, she jumped at the chance to get him back. Since Aubrey was going to law school in Boston, they got a small, cat-friendly apartment together not too far away from her classes. And as much as Aubrey loved living in a real apartment with her girlfriend, she couldn't help but to regret the cat-friendly decision. Professor Cuddles was a nightmare, and, in spite of his name, not exactly cuddly with anyone except Chloe. He sharpened his claws against Aubrey's legs every single chance he got. He hissed at the blonde every time she got too close to his human and always curled up in Aubrey's spot on the bed, prompting a battle at bedtime every night. (Due to his antics, Aubrey had gone without sex for two weeks and counting.)

"Aww, honey." Chloe kissed Aubrey's cheek and rested her head against her shoulder. "He'll get used to you."

Professor Cuddles leaped up onto the couch and into Aubrey's lap. He hissed and swiped angrily at the blonde, causing her to scream. She tried to push him off, but it was too late. His claws pierced the skin of her cheek, right where Chloe's lips had just been. Chloe grabbed the hissing ball of fur and pulled him away from her girlfriend.

"No, sir!" she scolded. "This is Aubrey's house too, and you are going to be nice to her." Chloe set him down on the floor, and he dashed away. She turned to Aubrey. "I'm so sorry, Bree. Let's get you fixed up."

Aubrey followed Chloe to their bathroom and allowed the redhead to gently clean the scratch with warm, soapy water. Chloe dipped a cotton swab into a bottle of peroxide and applied it to the wound. Aubrey winced at the stinging sensation. Finally, Chloe placed a Band-Aid over the scratch and sealed it with a kiss. Aubrey stared into the mirror at the ridiculous shimmery purple bandage on her face. Her night was most definitely not off to a good start.

Cuddles: 1

Aubrey: 0

–

"I'm so sorry I can't go on the trip with you," Aubrey said as she helped Chloe pack her suitcase. Or, more accurately, packed the suitcase for her while she sat on the bed and watched. Luckily for Chloe, who never knew how to pack efficiently, Aubrey loved organizing things.

"It's okay. I know you can't miss your classes."

Aubrey, who didn't believe in wasting time, was taking summer courses so she could get her law degree faster. But Chloe was an elementary school teacher, meaning she got summers off. Although Aubrey enjoyed learning, it did make her a bit blue that she couldn't go to the beach with Chloe's family in Florida. She could hardly even imagine spending a week apart from her girlfriend, but unfortunately, it was happening.

Once Chloe's suitcase was sufficiently packed for a week at the beach, Aubrey rose from the bed, made her way over to her own side of their chest of drawers, and retrieved her sexiest pair of underwear. Chloe raised an eyebrow at the skimpy pink and black lace she had hungrily pulled off of Aubrey's body so many times before. Wordlessly, Aubrey placed the garment in Chloe's suitcase, hiding it among t-shirts and bathing suits.

"And just what is that for?"

"That's just a little something to make sure you don't forget about me." Aubrey winked, causing Chloe's heart to flutter. Chloe loved seeing her normally tight**-**laced girlfriend get flirty.

Chloe got off the bed and went over to Aubrey, hugging her from behind. She pressed her whole body against Aubrey, making sure the blonde could feel her gently rocking her hips from side to side against her ass. Aubrey let out a soft moan as Chloe's lips connected with her neck. The redhead's eyes darkened with desire as she continued to kiss the sensitive skin. "Oh, I won't forget," she breathed in between kisses. Her hand slipped underneath the waistband of Aubrey's shorts. "Trust me."

The combined sensations of Chloe's hot breath against her neck and skilled fingers teasing her through her underwear sent shivers down Aubrey's spine. Chloe's other hand slid up her shirt and firmly cupped a breast. Aubrey closed her eyes and reveled in Chloe's touch. She needed this. She hadn't been touched like this in what felt like a lifetime, thanks to that stupid cat. Just as Chloe was about to slip her fingers underneath the damp fabric and give her what her body so desperately craved...

"Meow."

Chloe pulled her hands out of Aubrey's clothing and turned her attention to Professor Cuddles, who had plopped down on top of her open suitcase. "Aww, look at him!" she squealed. "He wants to go with me."

"How long has that little perv been in here!?"

"I'm gonna miss you, Cuddles," Chloe gushed, ignoring Aubrey's remark. "Yes, I am! I'm gonna miss my little man!"

Aubrey slipped out of the room unnoticed. She would have to take care of the ache between her thighs all by herself in the shower yet again. She turned on the water, drowning out the sounds of affectionate purring and Chloe's voice. She hadn't even thought about the fact that she would have to look after Professor Cuddles all by herself in Chloe's absence. This was probably going to be the longest week of her entire life.

–

Aubrey returned from the airport the next day with tears in her eyes. She already missed Chloe. She had made the redhead promise to call her as soon as the plane landed in Florida, but that was a few hours away. A week would be the longest they had been apart since the summer after their freshman year of college, when they were just friends.

"Looks like it's just you and me, Cuddles," she mumbled as she put her keys in their usual spot on the counter and removed her shoes. The cat flattened his ears and eyed her suspiciously. Aubrey quickly covered up the lipstick mark on her uninjured cheek. "I'm not looking for any trouble."

Aubrey grabbed her weekend reading assignment from the counter and carefully stepped around him. She settled onto the couch and buried herself in the dozens of pages of legal jargon, hoping to get her mind off of the fact that she wouldn't see Chloe again for a whole week. After she finally finished, she decided to reward herself with a cup of fruit from the kitchen. When she returned, she found that Professor Cuddles had pushed her textbook off of the coffee table and stolen her seat on the couch.

"Ugh, come on," she sighed as she attempted to shoo him away. He meowed indignantly, refusing to budge.

Suddenly, Aubrey's phone rang. Her eyes lit up when she saw Chloe's name on the screen. She answered the phone hurriedly, excited to hear her girlfriend's voice. "Hi, Chlo!"

"Hey, Aubrey! I just got off the plane, and I'm waiting for my parents to come pick me up."

"I miss you. Tell your family I said hello."

"I miss you too. Oh, guess what? The guy I sat next to on the plane was a Harvard law grad!" Chloe exclaimed. "So I made sure to tell him all about my beautiful girlfriend who's doing the same thing."

Knowing that Chloe had gushed about her to a complete stranger made Aubrey's heart swell with pride. Even though Chloe couldn't see her, she smiled vibrantly. "Aww... I love you."

"I love you too, Bree. Oh, my mom is here! I gotta go help load up my things. I'll talk to you later, okay? Tell Cuddles I said hi!"

"Okay. Bye, darlin'," Aubrey drawled, playing up the remnants of her old South Carolina accent. She had gotten rid of it early on in college for professional purposes, but Chloe thought it was adorable, so occasionally she would use it privately with her. It drove Chloe wild.

"Oh my God, you're so cute. Bye, Aubrey!"

Aubrey hung up and shoved her phone in her pocket, where it would be safe from any feline sneak attacks. Tentatively, she sat down on the other side of the couch, leaving adequate space between herself and Professor Cuddles.

"Chloe sends her regards," Aubrey announced, refusing to make eye contact with the animal.

Professor Cuddles meowed in response as if he had any idea what Aubrey had just said. Aubrey glanced over at him. He was still curled up in the corner of the couch, but Aubrey could have sworn he looked sad, like he missed Chloe. Even though Aubrey didn't particularly care for the cat, she could definitely sympathize with that feeling.

"Yeah, I miss her too." Since he seemed so calm, she considered extending a hand to see if she could gently pat his head, but caution told her otherwise.

The rest of the evening passed by uneventfully. Aubrey put in her favorite movie, Legally Blonde, and heated up some leftover chicken from the night before. She could feel Professor Cuddles staring at her as she searched for a fork. Suddenly, an idea dawned on her. Cats liked chicken, didn't they? Maybe he would be nicer if she gave him a treat. After all, she did have to survive a week alone with him. She cut off a small piece of chicken and placed it in his bowl as a peace offering. The cat rushed over to devour his treat and then disappeared.

After her movie ended, Aubrey decided to go to bed since she had class in the morning. She got ready for bed and crawled under the covers, but something wasn't right. Chloe's side of the bed was, of course, empty. Aubrey struggled to get comfortable, but it was no use. She sighed. Sleeping without Chloe was always so difficult.

"Cuddles?" she called out softly. "I know you're in here somewhere." Aubrey could hear the sound of tiny paws moving across the floor. She patted the empty space next to her. "Do you want to come sit? I can't sleep without Chloe."

Soundlessly, the cat hopped onto the bed and curled up on top of Chloe's pillow. Aubrey watched him intently, making sure he was fast asleep before she allowed herself to relax too much. Eventually, the sound of his gentle breathing was enough to lull Aubrey into sleep herself.

She woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a small puddle of cat urine on the clothes she had laid out the previous night. Gritting her teeth, she gathered up the unexpected laundry. Why couldn't Chloe's beloved pet be a hamster or a goldfish or some other harmless thing?

–

"I'm telling you, Amy, he's like, a fuzzy little Satan. He's the cat from the black lagoon," Aubrey whispered urgently into the phone. She had locked herself in the bedroom away from Professor Cuddles after he had jumped on her three times while she was studying. "You've wrestled dingoes and alligators! You have to know at least something I can try."

"Load up a Super Soaker and spray him with it," Amy suggested. "Always worked on the wild creatures in the outback."

"What is a Super Soaker?"

"Oh, I forgot. You didn't have a childhood."

"Amy!"

"It's a big water gun."

"I can't use a water gun indoors!" Aubrey cried. "You're not helping."

Much to Aubrey's annoyance, Amy started to snicker into the phone. Aubrey huffed. There was nothing funny about her plight.

"You're going to hate me, but I have to say this," Amy said, clearly trying to hold back her laughter.

"What?" Aubrey practically growled.

Amy cleared her throat. "You'd think a lesbian would know how to handle an angry pussy!" She howled with laughter once more.

"_Amy!" _Aubrey was mortified. Although she had grown mostly accustomed to Amy's penchant for off-color jokes, she still didn't particularly enjoy it when they were directed at her.

"Sorry, Aubrey. I saw my shot and had to take it. Anyway, I have to go. One of my boyfriends just got here."

Aubrey pressed the red button on her phone, ending the conversation. So much for that. Two days had passed since Chloe left, and the situation with Professor Cuddles had barely improved. (She had the bite marks to show it.) She had begun to think that perhaps asserting her authority wouldn't work on the cat. Maybe trying to get him to actually like her would be a better route.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the bedroom door and set out into the apartment to find the evil feline. She could do this. She was Aubrey Posen; she could do _anything._ Professor Cuddles was perched on the couch as usual. Carefully, she approached him.

"Hey, kitty," she said softly, extending a hand to him. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Professor Cuddles leaned forward to sniff her, but he didn't attack. Feeling brave, Aubrey extended her hand even farther and ever-so-gently petted his fluffy head. He snapped at her and jumped off of the couch, scurrying away.

Well, at least he hadn't actually bitten her. That was progress, right?

–

On her way home from class, Aubrey had stopped by PetSmart to buy all the toys and fancy cat food her budget would allow. After all, she had to be prepared. This cat was _going _to like her, dammit.

"Cuddles, I bought you some presents!" Aubrey called as she entered the apartment. She briefly wondered when she had started talking to cats. If Chloe could see it, she would think it was adorable, but Aubrey felt ridiculous.

The cat strode over and gazed up at her as if he was expecting to receive his gifts. Aubrey reached into her bag and scattered the toys around him. He batted around a fuzzy stuffed animal for a few moments, then grew bored and sank his claws into Aubrey's leg. He then tore open the plastic bag, slicing the package of cat treats open along with it, and began to eat the treats that were scattered on the floor.

As Aubrey struggled to clean up the mess on the floor and fix up her newest wound, her phone rang. She wanted to ignore it, but it was Chloe. "Hey," she panted.

"Oh, is this a bad time?"

"No, you're fine." Shit, blood was starting to drip onto the floor.

"I miss you."

"Miss you too." She grabbed a wad of paper towels and pressed them to her leg.

"Are you sure you're okay? You sound upset."

"I had a hard day today."

"Aww, I'm sorry, Bree. Maybe this will cheer you up."

Aubrey's phone beeped, signaling a new picture message. She clicked on it to reveal a photo of Chloe wearing a tiny blue bikini. In spite of her current situation, the picture brought a smile to Aubrey's face. She always did have a thing for super hot girls with bikini-ready bodies."Wow. I wish I was there!"

Chloe giggled. "Yeah, I wish you were too. My parents say hi, by the way. And so does my creepy uncle, but let's not talk about him."

"Are you having a good time?"

"Yes, but I can't wait to get back home to you."

"I can't wait for you to, either."

"Only two more days! Hey, how are you and Cuddles getting along?"

Aubrey looked down at the multitude of fresh cat bites and scratches covering her arms and legs. Maybe Chloe didn't have to know _everything. _"I... um... I bought him some toys today."

"That's so sweet! I'm so glad to hear things are improving."

"Yeah."

"Sorry, I've gotta go. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you too, Bree!"

Shit, what had she done? Now Chloe thought everything was fine when it wasn't. As soon as she set foot in the apartment, she would realize that Aubrey had lied. She had to think of a way to fix this.

–

"Come on, Cuddles. We have to start getting along. Chloe is coming home tonight."

Professor Cuddles simply glanced at her. Aubrey was at her wit's end. Here she was trying to reason with a _cat. _What was her life becoming?

"I have class in twenty minutes, so I'm about to leave," she announced. "And you are going to stay here and not destroy anything while I'm gone."

Aubrey gathered up the things she would need for class and left. She did not notice a certain cat slip out the door behind her.

Several hours later, she returned. After setting her bag down on the kitchen counter, Aubrey called for the cat, but he didn't come. She called again, but it was to no avail. Aubrey began searching the entire apartment. She checked under the bed, in the closet, in all the cabinets, everywhere. Nervousness was brewing deep in the pit of her stomach. How could she lose Professor Cuddles on the day Chloe was set to come home?

Aubrey started to feel nauseous. The cat was definitely not in the apartment. Suddenly, it dawned on her that the apartment was on the first floor. Professor Cuddles could be _anywhere_ in the city. This realization pushed her over the edge. She made it to the bathroom just in time to be violently ill. After rinsing her mouth out, she dashed out of the apartment, down the hall, and into the pouring rain.

The sun was beginning to set, but Aubrey didn't care. She had to find Chloe's beloved cat in the next two hours before her girlfriend would be home. Aubrey pushed past everyone else as she investigated the streets for any sign of Professor Cuddles. She continued this for several blocks, but he was nowhere to be found. How far could he have gotten all by himself?

Frustrated, Aubrey slumped down on the nearest bench, not caring that it was soaked from the rain. She was, however, beginning to regret forgetting to grab her umbrella. She couldn't believe she had really lost the cat. This had to be one of the biggest mistakes of her life, maybe even on par with the Lincoln Center disaster from her junior year of college. Except this time, Chloe wouldn't be holding her close and rubbing soothing circles against the soft skin of her back. Her stomach lurched at the thought of Chloe's possible reactions. Would she yell at her? Aubrey could count the number of times that had happened on just one hand. Would she cry? Probably. Aubrey couldn't stand the thought of being the reason for Chloe's tears. Would she leave?

"I'm the worst girlfriend ever," Aubrey whispered to herself. She could feel her eyes brimming with hot tears. "I don't deserve Chloe. I can't even take care of her stupid fucking cat."

"Meow."

"Shut up, Professor Cuddles. Chloe is going to leave me, and... Wait!" She looked underneath the bench, where the sound had come from. Sure enough, there was a fluffy tabby cat cowering against the side. Aubrey had never imagined she'd be so glad to see him. She scooped him up and kissed the side of his face. "Thank the aca-gods!"

As Aubrey carried him back to the apartment, she was surprised to find that he did not attempt to strike. Instead, he clung to her shirt with his claws and buried his face in her hair. Once she got inside, she grabbed a towel and dried him off. And for the first time, he purred! Aubrey could not believe her ears.

She changed out of her wet clothes and joined Professor Cuddles on the couch. He hopped on her lap and settled down, still purring contentedly. Aubrey stroked his back, relieved to have finally won the cat's blessing.

About half an hour later, Aubrey heard the familiar sound of a key turning in the door. Chloe was home!

"Hey, Aubrey, I'm... Oh my God!" The sight of Aubrey holding Professor Cuddles brought a huge smile to her face. She scrambled to find her phone in the bottom of her purse so she could take a picture.

"Hey, Chlo. We missed you." Aubrey rose from the couch and set Professor Cuddles down, then went to greet Chloe with a kiss.

"I'm so glad to be back," Chloe said, hugging Aubrey tightly. Purring loudly, Professor Cuddles rushed up to Chloe and rubbed his face against her leg. She bent down to pick him up and kissed the top of his head. "Hey, Cuddles." Aubrey reached over to gently scratch him behind the ears. Chloe watched in delight as he continued to purr. "So, I have to ask... How did you get him to like you?"

"It's a long story."


End file.
